Date Night Ideas from a Dating and Relationship Therapist
Let’s talk about… dating. What came to mind there?
We all have dating scripts or narratives that we take into our dating lives and learning more about how you show up relationally can help shift the way that you relate both to yourself and to others.
I’m so glad you’re here! My name is Dr. Adrianna Holness and I’m an online LA dating therapist. I have the amazing job of working with badass women who keep finding themselves stuck in certain dating and relational patterns. For some women, they keep finding themselves in complicated situationships, while others notice that they fully lean into a pattern of people-pleasing while ignoring their own needs or boundaries. Some struggle with dating anxiety and others have given up altogether - feeling that they are not worthy of love or true connection.
I love this aspect of my work because relationships can amplify the way that we feel about ourselves - either positively or negatively. Relationships are a beautiful space to challenge ourselves to grow, to break generational cycles of trauma, and to create a space that is truly in line with our needs, boundaries, and values.
Therapy for Dating is a space to shake off all of those unhelpful and oftentimes damaging messages like….
✨ You need to try harder
✨ Make sure you play hard to get
✨ You need to go on more dates.
✨ You should be more picky.
✨ Or my least favorite - any article that starts with 10 Things To Say To Get Them To Commit. 🤦🏽♀️
The truth is, like most things in life - dating is beautiful and it is also complex. One thing I know for sure, is that when you take time to learn your own needs and patterns, you will show up more fully to the dating process in a way that helps you be more discerning about whether it’s the right fit for you.
I want to share an LA and Orange County dating guide for everyone.
This guide is for you whether you’re married, partnered, in a dreaded situationship (let’s chat about that one), dating, going through a divorce, or single (AKA dating yourself).
So many hours of our lives are spent in front of our computers, in conference rooms, managing work dynamics, and trying our best to adult. With the hustle and bustle of life, it can be hard to intentionally slow down, tune into ourselves, and spend time truly getting to know ourselves, our partners, and the world around us.
In this way, dating can be a beautiful way to 1) learn about yourself, 2) learn about another person, 3) and/or learn about the world around you.
If you’re single - think of this dating guide as a space to learn more about yourself. Many of the wonderful women I get to work with, have found themselves swept up into relationships where they tune down their own intuition and desires. I hope you’ll think of dating yourself as a way to get to know more about you. If someone is lucky enough to join you on this journey, then think how beautiful it will be to introduce them to the world you’ve built for yourself.
When you know who you are, what you love, and what you deserve, you are better able to call in friendships and partners that reflect the life you actually want for yourself.
If you’re partnered or married, dating is a way to intentionally set aside time to attune to your partner, create new experiences together, and increase opportunities for acknowledgment and gratitude.
When we first start a relationship and we're excited to get to know this new person, we scan for the positives, the things that excite us, and what makes us feel seen, important, and valued. When we feel this way, we also express more gratitude and spontaneous positive affirmations and we get excited to share our world and to go on new adventures together.
The trouble is - as life gets busy, the positive aspects of relationships can quickly turn into the basic expectations of a relationship.
For example, while you used to love that your partner remembered to pick up your favorite snack while at the grocery store - that exciting thoughtful moment can become more of an expectation. The shift from delight to expectation is a human one. We get used to things the way that they are.
As a dating and relationship therapist, I often find that attunement - or the level at which you feel seen, heard, and valued by your partner, impacts the quality of your relationship. See if you can reframe dating as a space to reconnect and re-attune to your relationship.
How you talk to yourself about your worth matters, and it draws in people who reflect or believe these things about you as well.
Learn how Therapy for Dating can help you shift your internal narratives.
Get Outdoors:
Explore a local garden: As the weather cools down, it can be the perfect chance to pack a picnic, take a quick (or extended) road trip, and explore the outdoors together. Some of my favorites are South Coast Botanical Garden, where you can check out Thomas Dambo’s Troll exhibit, explore Descanso’s stunning rose garden, traipse through the pumpkin-themed Carved Festival, or explore their Enchanted Forest of Lights in the winter. Some other amazing gardens are Huntington Library in Pasadena and Los Angeles County Arboretum.
Hit the Trails: If you’re looking for a new trail, All Trail Guide is a great place to start! I love that they help you figure out which trails are dog friendly, which have accessibility for wheelchairs, as well as level of difficulty.
Head to the beach: Plan to spend a day relaxing in your area at a local beach like Santa Monica beach, exploring the Palos Verdes shipwreck, taking scenic photos at Lunada Bay, or walking along the Venice Canals or Venice Boardwalk.
Explore Your Area Like a Tourist:
If you feel like your dating life has hit a rut, that you keep frequenting the same spots, or you just want to try something new, see if you can explore your area like a tourist. One great place to start is to purchase a tour book for your area. You can pick up a tour guide book or check out instagram for local hikes, bites, or museums. You might be surprised by how many unexplored options you have around you!
Are you tired of repeating patterns in your dating life?
Reach out to a dating therapist today!
Cultural Date Options:
Sports:
If you enjoy sports, Los Angeles has you covered! Home to the Dodgers, Lakers Nation, Clippers, the Rams at SoFi Stadium, the Chargers, Galaxy and Kings, you have endless options for spending time cheering on your favorite local teams. If you’re a proud Bruin or Trojan, there are also amazing teams to follow for UCLA and USC. A little down south in Orange County, you can also check out the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim or the Ducks at the Honda Center!
Los Angeles has an unmissable music and concert scene.
Whether you’re into musicals, classical music, local bands, or concerts, you have some amazing local options like the Greek, the Hollywood Bowl, Disney Concert Hall, and the Wiltern among many others.
Check out a new museum you haven’t explored before or return to a favorite and play a game.
You can create or own scavenger hunt or use a ready-made one, share a set of headphones while listening to your favorite music, or pack a picnic. Some local favorites are the Getty, the Broad, Los Angeles County Museum of Art (LACMA), the Skirball Cultural Center, and the Griffith Observatory to name a few. If you find yourself down in Orange County, check out the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach, Richard Nixon Library, or the Orange County Museum of Art.
Dive into the local theater scene.
You can watch a play or ballet at Pantages or Geffen Playhouse or support a local playhouse like the Pico, Santa Monica Playhouse, or Long Beach Playhouse. If you’re down in Orange County, you can check out Segerstrom in Costa Mesa or Laguna Playhouse. If you’re into live art, the Festival of the Arts Pageant of the Masters returns each summer to Laguna Beach.
Browse a Local Bookstore or Library.
One fun way to learn about yourself, your date, or your partner is to spend some time learning about what books they love. What was their favorite book as a kid? Did their family have any traditions around reading? What book do they love or recommend right now? Some great places to explore are Manhattan Beach Library, Powell Library at UCLA, or Hoose Library of Philosophy at USC. Theres’s also a 15,000 gallon aquarium at the Cerritos Library and a stunning fiddle leaf fig tree at the Huntington Beach Library.
For local bookstores, you can pop into Ziggy’s Bookshop in Santa Monica, North Figueroa Bookshop in Highland Park, or Octavias Bookshelf in Pasadena aptly named after Olivia Butler. You can also find a diverse array of books at The Salt Eaters Bookshop in Inglewood, pick up both a plant and a book at Lost Books in Montrose, or join a discussion or hosting readings at Stories Books and Cafe in Echo Park.
Begin Working with A Relationship Issues Therapist in Los Angeles, CA
Our team would be happy to offer support for you and your relationship from our LA-based practice. You can get in contact with someone from our team of caring therapists by following these simple steps:
Speak with our caring therapist.
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Other Services Offered with Worth and Wellness
Therapy for dating isn’t the only service offered with Worth and Wellness. We specialize in many forms of therapy in California, including EMDR therapy, online therapy, and individual relationship therapy. Therapy for women of color, therapy for therapists, and therapy for highly sensitive people are other services we offer as well. If you’re ready to learn more about how you can get support, reach out today.
About the Author, Dr. Adrianna Holness, An Anxiety Therapist in LA & Orange County
Dr. Adrianna Holness, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist at Worth and Wellness Psychology, serving clients online and in person throughout California. She received her Ph.D. in Clinical Health Psychology from Loma Linda University. As a psychologist that specializes in anxiety treatment, she creates a space for healing and wholeness so her clients can focus on addressing the cause of their anxiety. She is trained in many evidence-based trauma treatment approaches, including EMDR.
Disclaimer:
This blog provides general information and discussions about health and related subjects. The information and other content provided in this blog, website, or in any linked materials are not intended and should not be considered, or used as a substitute for, medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This blog does not constitute the practice of any medical or mental healthcare advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We cannot diagnose, provide second opinions or make specific treatment recommendations through this blog or website.
