Say Goodbye to Anxiety Resolutions in the New Year
We’ve all been there. The clock strikes 12:00am and we’re supposed to start the New Year with a fresh attitude about…. our weight, our looks, our personality, our habits, our love life.
As a dating and anxiety therapist, I want you to know that these expectations can be absolutely overwhelming. Instead of starting off the New Year from a place of exhaustion, I want you to challenge yourself to throw out those rigid resolutions around anxiety in the New Year. Let’s take a look at what else you can do as we head into 2024.
You Are Enough
The most important truth I want my anxious clients to know is that you are enough Exactly. As. You. Are. You are a whole and worthy human… on your best days and your worst days.
Our anxiety lies to us by telling us that we have control over our own worth. If only we can… lose or gain x number of pounds this year, gain x number of followers on social media, get invited to that party, or get a partner - then we can finally be worthy.
The tricky part is that these formulas teach us that we are fully in control of the outcomes and that if those outcomes don’t go "according to plan” we are also solely responsible for those failures.
If you struggle with anxiety, I want you to take a look at your New Year’s Resolutions. How many of those resolutions are built on a list of how or who you “should” be? Anxiety can keep us caught up in an endless cycle of believing that we are never quite good enough and I would love to help you start to break that anxiety trap.
You Set the Pace
There is nothing wrong with wanting to work on yourself. One of the most beautiful parts of life is being able to look back on different seasons and notice ways that we’ve changed. When we struggle with anxiety though, there can be a time clock that consistently tells us that change has to happen and it has to happen RIGHT NOW!
For my anxious girlies, I want you to know that you get to decide the pace. So let’s say you struggle with social anxiety and you want to work on making new friends or acquaintances this year.
You may be tempted to say…
🤍 This year I’m going to get rid of my anxiety and I’m going to be social.
How do you feel reading that resolution?
It certainly spikes my anxiety. WHY? Because it instantly highlights that something is wrong with the way that you are and you need to change yourself.
What’s the alternative?
What if we looked at our anxiety a little differently? What if we said…
🤍 I really value my relationships and I want to create and grow new friendships this year.
🤍 I can honor who I am while also challenging myself (at my own pace) to expand my social scene.
🤍 I will take breaks where I need to so I can recharge my battery.
🤍 I will be honest with others when I can make it rather than flaking out at the last minute.
🤍 I will be more aware of how I’m feeling and take time to meet my own needs too.
How did you feel reading those self-promises?
Struggling with social anxiety?
Worth and Wellness Psychology can help!
Anxiety and Dating
Let’s take a look at another big area. As an anxiety therapist for millennial women, I have the honor of helping my clients explore their relationships and work through their dating lives. Not whether or not they are “successful” in these areas, but rather how they feel about themselves, whether they like who they are in their dating lives, and if they are honoring who they are and their own needs.
So rather than coming up with a list of “shoulds” around your dating life like….
🤍 I will be more picky.
🤍 I will go out on more dates.
🤍 I will make myself into what they want.
🤍 I will change up my look.
I want to encourage you instead to focus on your own values. So let’s try something like…
🤍 I will honor my own needs.
🤍 I will look for someone who sees me and truly listens.
🤍 I will show up as myself.
🤍 I will state my needs.
The only way that we can find the relationship that we want, is if we show up fully as ourselves. Yes… it is way more risky and vulnerable. It’s also an important way of calling in what we so want and deserve.
You are so deserving of the life you want
If anxiety is holding you back, reach out today for a free introductory call.
So this New Year, I hope that you start the journey of self-acceptance, self-kindness, and authenticity. You don’t owe anyone your list of resolutions. You only owe yourself the space to grow and to create the life you want. Growth does not mean that you are wiping the slate clean this year and creating a whole new person. It simply means that you will lean into your needs, establish healthy boundaries, and allow people into your life who can honor this growing, beautifully imperfect you.
Here’s to wishing you well in 2024! 🎉
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You deserve support in navigating anxiety symptoms and overcoming the “shoulds” of New Year’s resolutions. Our team would be happy to offer support from our Los Angeles, CA-based practice. You can start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
Complete our contact form online for a consultation.
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About the Author, Dr. Adrianna Holness, An Anxiety Therapist in LA & Orange County
Dr. Adrianna Holness, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist at Worth and Wellness Psychology, serving clients online and in person throughout California. She received her Ph.D. in Clinical Health Psychology from Loma Linda University. As a psychologist that specializes in anxiety treatment, she creates a space for healing and wholeness so her clients can focus on addressing the cause of their anxiety. She is trained in many evidence-based trauma treatment approaches, including EMDR.
Other Services Offered with Worth and Wellness
Worth and Wellness is happy to offer a variety of services in support of your mental health. Other services offered include anxiety therapy, EMDR therapy, trauma therapy, and therapy for therapists. We also provide online therapy, therapy for women of color, and therapy for individuals. Visit us today or our blog today to start your journey to a better life!
Disclaimer:
This blog provides general information and discussions about health and related subjects. The information and other content provided in this blog, website, or in any linked materials are not intended and should not be considered, or used as a substitute for, medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This blog does not constitute the practice of any medical or mental healthcare advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We cannot diagnose, provide second opinions or make specific treatment recommendations through this blog or website.
