Trust and Trauma
I don’t trust myself anymore.
Over the past decade, many of the women I have worked with have struggled not only with negative self-talk and self-blame but also with a loss of trust in their bodies.
Sometimes this looks like an unhealthy or disordered relationship with food.
Sometimes it looks like not taking care of yourself (e.g., overworking, never stopping for breaks, and self-care).
Trust issues can also show up in relationships. You may struggle to trust your partner. Your family. Your friends. Or you may even struggle to trust yourself - not believing that you are capable of creating the healthy and beautiful relationships that you so deserve.
Imagine what the world would be like if every woman trusted herself - her identity, her needs, her worth…
Trust Narratives:
Trust starts early. Our concept of trust begins from the moment we enter the world in our most vulnerable state and need to rely on our primary caregivers well…. for EVERYTHING. Food, safety, comfort, emotional regulation, cleanliness, mental stimulation, attention, and love.
These are our first relationships, and they set the template for how we trust others - as well as how we learn to trust ourselves. These dynamics set the stage for our attachment styles, for whether we think we are valued, or whether we feel insecure or alone.
What narratives did you learn around trust?
Emotional Trust:
Trauma can impact the way that you trust and process your own emotions as well as how they show up for you. You may find yourself questioning why you felt or didn’t feel a certain way during or after your trauma. While you may receive messages that you “should” have felt scared, angry, self-protective… you may have actually felt numb, confused, trusting, or all the mixed feelings about it.
You may also have heard things like…
- But you look fine.
- You’re doing so well - you were even able to jump right back into work.
- It could have been worse.
It can be easy to doubt what you’re feeling, your own reality, and whether your experience is valid when faced with conflicting messages from yourself and those around you.
You may notice that you’ve even developed narratives around your emotions, like I should be fine - other people have it worse, I don’t have a right to feel this way, or it wasn’t really that bad.
How do you talk to yourself when you’re feeling your emotions?
Body Trust:
While trust may not often be talked about with regard to our bodies, our body is one of the first ways in which we relate to our world - beginning in the womb. For many of the women I work with, they grew up with indirect body messages like…
- Mom constantly critiquing her own body.
- Hearing ‘fat’ people referred to as lazy.
- Constantly watching all the women in your life pick apart their bodies while constantly dieting.
You also may have learned messages directly about your body in terms of how you were allowed to dress regarding…
- What made you look ‘thin.’
- Having your intentions questioned with regard to your outfit.
- Being told a style “wasn’t for your body type.”
- Comments that you’re showing too much.
- Comments that you’re not showing enough.
We also learn to relate to our body in terms of our sexuality and sexual experiences. Unfortunately, 1 in every 3 women has experienced sexual harassment and 1 in every 6 women has experienced a sexual assault. Within these contexts, our safety within our own body can be torn apart and it can become easy to blame ourselves. For how others view us. For how others treat us. For how we react in those moments (despite feeling scared and confused).
With all of the messages about what our body can and can’t be to ourselves and others, it’s incredibly easy to either 1) dissociate from how we relate to our body, 2) allow others to tell us our own body’s worth, 3) or to continue the narrative that our body is never good enough.
Relational Trust:
Trust can also play a major role in how you step into relationships. It can impact how you see your own worth in those relationships and how you react when triggered. Maybe you’ve experienced infidelity in your past or watched it occur between your parents. Maybe you witnessed or experienced physical or emotional abuse. Any breach in trust, whether it be physical, emotional, or financial can impact how you view others.
Or perhaps, you struggle with self-trust. Maybe you question whether you can trust yourself within relationships. Can I trust myself to state my own needs? To choose me if I’m not being treated well? Can I trust that I’m capable of meeting someone new and building a healthy relationship?
How Can I Learn to Trust Myself? Trust Issue Therapy Helps
Working with clients as they learn to trust themselves, accept their emotions, and confidently learn to identify and ask for their needs is my FAVORITE part of my role as a therapist!
At Worth and Wellness Psychology, I believe that trauma is part of your story. And it doesn’t have to be your entire story. You are not defined by your trauma, your family narratives, or any part of your history. If you have found that your ability to trust is holding you back from living your own, big, beautiful life, reach out today to learn more!
Start Trust Issue Therapy in Los Angeles, CA
Take the courageous step towards reclaiming your trust and living a life of authenticity and fulfillment. Don't let past experiences or negative narratives hold you back any longer. It's time to break free from self-doubt and create a new narrative of trust.
Reach out to Worth and Wellness Psychology for a free consultation today
Schedule your first appointment for counseling for trust issues
Start your journey towards self-trust and emotional well-being.
Other Counseling Services I Offer in Los Angeles, CA
I offer in-person and online therapy. This includes individual therapy for relationship issues, trauma, dating, and anxiety. In addition to therapy for therapists and women of color. Reach out to talk about how I can support you.
About the Author, An EMDR & Trauma Therapist in LA and Orange County
Dr. Adrianna Holness, Ph.D., is a Licensed Clinical Psychologist at Worth and Wellness Psychology, in Irvine and Los Angeles as well as throughout California. She received her Ph.D. in Clinical Health Psychology from Loma Linda University. As a female psychologist, she specializes in creating space for healing and wholeness as clients take on the brave and beautiful work of addressing life’s hardest moments.
Disclaimer:
This blog provides general information and discussions about health and related subjects. The information and other content provided in this blog, website, or in any linked materials are not intended and should not be considered, or used as a substitute for, medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This blog does not constitute the practice of any medical or mental healthcare advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We cannot diagnose, provide second opinions or make specific treatment recommendations through this blog or website.
