Women of Color: Finding the Right Female Therapist
I understand the daily and sometimes exhausting balancing act of being condensed into the stereotypes of how you look on the outside, needing to work harder to stand out, and sometimes even harder to blend in. All while wanting to be seen and understood for who you truly are.
I understand the burden of feeling like your work performance can be seen as confirmation for others’ biases against your identified groups, dismissed as an expectation, completely overlooked, or placed in the “token member” category. You are more than the boxes in which you have been placed.
Women of color are strong.
We have to be.
For many of us, strength is an act of survival.
It is the straight-backed posture as we inhabit white spaces as the “only” or “one of a few.”
It is the self-sacrifice of putting our family and communities first.
And it is the clenched jaw as we watch our sons and daughters go out into the world, the tension in our backs in the waiting, and the worry in our chests as we hold our breath…
hoping for safety.
Strength Narratives I See as A Female Therapist of Color
In 2021, four-time Olympic gold medalist, Simone Biles redefined the concept of a strong minority woman.
“Put mental health first. It’s okay to sometimes sit out the big competitions to focus on yourself because it shows how strong a competitor and person you really are, rather than just battle through it.”
- Simone Biles
What narrative did you grow up with around being a “strong woman?” While mental health is becoming more accepted (or at least spoken about), many of the women I work with share that the journey to exploring their own needs and seeking therapy was incredibly hard. Sometimes this means that they keep it to themselves, sometimes this means that there is judgment or pushback from family members, and/or that they struggle with internalized shame about it.
What are your narratives around asking for help?
Our society has created a narrative that minority women are “supposed to be” strong. Except strength oftentimes means that we are expected to allow, accept, and take the mistreatment and lifes hardships without support. Strength means we suffer through hard things alone. Strength means we never show “weakness” (aka our emotions)… and when we do - we’re labeled as “the angry Black woman,” “the fiery or spicy Latina” etc…
These messages then become something that we may accept as part of our own narrative about ourselves. It can be hard to identify our own needs, or even to feel worthy of taking the time to learn about them. Many of the women I work with, as a female therapist of color, initially think that values and needs based work in therapy can feel frivolous or like a waste of time. When they are able to pause, sit still, and notice not only what their emotions, but also their bodies are telling them, they learn that those needs are innate and valuable.
How often do you prioritize yourself?
Busy?
Try Online Counseling for Women of Color today!
Finding the Right Female Therapist for You
As a female therapist, I work to empower prospective clients to use consultations as a time to see if the therapeutic “fit” is there and to ask any and all questions they have. If it’s your first time going into therapy, then first off congratulations! Getting to that decision is a really big deal. It can also feel nerve wracking and vulnerable as you’re looking for someone to sit with you throughout life’s messy moments.
CHECK OUT THE THERAPY DIRECTORIES:
You may be wondering, where on earth do I start? There are a lot of free directories online to help you find a clinician and there are quite a few that are focused on specific needs (e.g., Latinx, Black women, LGBTQIA, men’s issues, cancer diagnosis, etc…). The directories are also really helpful in allowing you to filter by:
1) insurance type
2) therapist’s location
3) online therapy
4) in-person therapy
5) and more!
I’m going to share some of my favorites below!
I often recommend Inclusive Therapists, Therapy for Black Girls, Latinx Therapy, and Asian Mental Health Collective. While these sites are a little smaller, they tailor their site to helping clients find a therapist who can personally understand and celebrate all of your beautiful identities.
For a larger site, which may be your best bet if you live in a more rural area and want to be seen in person, you can try Psychology Today or Therapy Den.
There are also organizations like the Loveland Foundation that help pay for therapy for underprivileged groups.
Set Up a Consultation with a Female Therapist
Hopefully, you’ll find a few clinicians who fit what you’re looking for. One of the best ways to figure out if it’s the right fit for you is to set up a consultation.
✅ Clinicians who also value the process of you finding the right fit for your therapy journey will offer a free consultation, which will typically last from 15-30 minutes.
🚩 It’s a red flag if a clinician isn’t open to meeting with you for a consultation and wants you to first pay for a session without knowing anything about how they work.
You might be wondering, what should I share during a consultation? Great question!
The female therapist will guide the structure of the consultation, but typically, you can expect that they will:
1) ask you for a snapshot of what you’re looking for
2) ask questions to learn more about you and to make sure they have the right expertise for what you’re wanting
3) share a bit about how they work
4) leave time for you to ask them questions as well.
How to Find the Right Female Therapist for You
Learn more about therapy for women of color!
What to look for in a female therapist of color:
The best advice I can give is to look for someone who feels like a fit for you. Here are a few quick tips on how to tune into your own intuition:
✨ Does their bio or website mention topics and themes that resonate with you?
✨ Do they look like someone you would want to talk to?
During the consultation and in your first few sessions:
One thing to note is that a consultation may not feel like enough for you to truly know if the therapist feels like a fit. At Worth and Wellness, I always share with clients that you can pick a therapist, try working with them for a few sessions, and then decide if you’d like to continue working with them. This gives you time and space to assess if it’s the right fit for you. Let’s explore what to look for!
✨ Do I feel heard when I talk to them?
✨ Am I feel liked and respected by them?
✨ Do they seem to understand me or want to understand?
✨ Do I feel like I have full agency in each session?
✨ Does it feel like I can disagree with them and the relationship will still feel safe and okay? (e.g., if I wasn’t heard or understood accurately)
Starting therapy is a brave and beautiful step towards self-care and creating the life you want. I know looking for a female therapist can feel overwhelming, awkward, and sometimes exhausting. The good news? That’s the hardest part of getting started and there are so many resources out there to help you find your right fit. If you’re reading this and you’re curious about getting started, I promise it’s so so worth it… and so are you!
Counseling for Women of Color with a Female Therapist in the Irvine & Los Angeles Area
If you are in Irvine, Los Angeles, New Port Beach, San Diego, or anywhere in California and want to start online counseling for women of color and BIPOC, then follow these steps:
Contact us for a free consultation to see if Worth and Wellness is a good match.
Schedule an appointment to begin working with a skilled female therapist for women of color
Begin addressing your stressors and living your best life!
Other Counseling Services I Offer in Los Angeles, CA
At Worth and Wellness Psychology, I offer in-person and online therapy. This includes individual therapy for relationship issues, dating, and anxiety. In addition to therapy for therapists I also love working with Highly Sensitive People. As a Latina therapist, I also have a passion for working with women of color. Check out my blog and FAQs to learn more about me. Reach out to talk about how I can support you.
About the Author, Dr. Adrianna Holness, A Female Therapist in Irvine, California
Dr. Adrianna Holness, Ph.D., is a BIPOC Licensed Clinical Psychologist at Worth and Wellness Psychology, serving clients online and in person throughout California. She received her Ph.D. in Clinical Health Psychology from Loma Linda University. As a female therapist that specializes in anxiety treatment, she creates a space for healing and wholeness so her clients can focus on addressing the cause of their anxiety. She is trained in many evidence-based trauma treatment approaches, including EMDR.
Disclaimer:
This blog provides general information and discussions about health and related subjects. The information and other content provided in this blog, website, or in any linked materials are not intended and should not be considered, or used as a substitute for, medical or mental health advice, diagnosis, or treatment. This blog does not constitute the practice of any medical or mental healthcare advice, diagnosis, or treatment. We cannot diagnose, provide second opinions or make specific treatment recommendations through this blog or website.
